For those of you who haven’t been keeping up with my florid and optimistically titled weekly newsletter, Josh and Lauren’s Happy Wonderful Life of Sunshine and Rainbows, I can’t blame you at all. My diction was a product of Sesquipedalian Loquaciousness, and the extemporaneous quotes from Twain and Winnie the Pooh didn’t help my cause.
Anyway, now that that bit of foolishness is out of the way, I can give you an update on our summer. As you know, unless you’ve been living under a rock, I’ve been working on Web Stuff at Clark Nikdel and Powell, and loving it.
I’m really getting into the rhythm of things, getting my groove on. There’s nothing more enjoyable than starting off your morning with a fresh batch of code and some awesome Irish Radio.
Only thing is, my 3-month internship is almost up. The guys at CNP have offered me part-time work after the internship ends, but with Lauren and I having Dreams of House-Ownership, some extra work is in order.
Which brings me to my primary search avenue: Craigslist.
Here’s the thing about the Lakeland Craigslist: about 3 entries come in for the Web Design market, oh, say, every two weeks.(Please, if you know someone who needs a website, do them a favor and introduce them to me. They’ll love you forever for it.)
These range from: “Uh, hey, I want a website, and stuff. On the Internet.” to: “We’re looking for a full-time employee with 5+ years experience minimum and full working knowledge of the following technologies: HTML, CSS, Javascript, jQuery, ASP, .NET, C#, C++, Photoshop, Python, the General Theory of Relativity and the techniques of the Dutch Master Oil Painters of the Baroque Period.”
I’ve been over Craigslist so many times that I think it’s almost time to search the Internets for famously obscure relatives who will simply give me money.
In the meantime while my search continues, here are some gems from the Craigslist pages (absolutely not made up):
Pawnshop Associate!!
Must be able to pass background check and subsequently pass background checks on customers.
Woman 21-39 needed to help Infertile Couple- Earn $25000
And no, they’re not talking about just nannying the kid either.
Sports Forecaster $4,500 a month
“Well Jim, today I’m going to forecast that the Oilers beat the Canucks, the Braves beat the Marlins, and that tennis is still boring. And I’m outta here.”
Romance Professional
Calling all the Barney Stinsons and Mary Worths of the world.
Man Needed
To work as a bathroom attendant. Must have own tux.
Well, that’s it for now. Something will come along. It always does.
